littlebittyschool
10-22-2004, 09:50 AM
I nominate Mr. Ho as the new AD for Troy University. With his experience in promotions, advertising, and business management, I think he would be ideal. If you can choose your menu and lay out a buffet every single day, then planning a schedule and negotiating conference deals should be a walk in the park!
Also, I would like to nominate myself as offensive co-coordinator. I do not have any coaching experience, but I have played Play Station a few times and will promise to draw on my knowledge of Nintendo Tecmo Bowl plays. We revert to the chuck and duck offense and run reverses, options, screens, flea-flickers and basically any and every play in the book. We will never run the same play twice. I also promise to never revert back to our C.R.A.P. (Crouch Retreat And Punt) offense.
Troymarkus will be my new offensive line and special teams coach. We will have two complete sets of offensive linemen. The first set will be composed of all midgets, all under 4 and 1/2 foot and all able to run a 4.5 40yard dash or lower. They will be experts at chop blocking and getting out front to block. We will rotate them in every other play with our second offensive unit. These will be comprised of Sumo Wrestlers, Coach Wayne Bolt's illegitimate children, and the "before" picture of Jared from Subway. All of these linemen (and or women) will weigh at least 500 pounds. They will not be able to move, but no one will move them either.
TSUWhiner will be our new band director and administrator-in-charge of verbal assault. In addition to leading the band (which will now only play old school rap and Guns and Roses) he will lead derogatory cheers against opposing teams. He will also be in charge of battery throwing, mascot kidnapping, and general mischief at all sporting events.
******* will be our new SID. In addition to the regular duties of Sports Information Director, he and his army of photographers will attempt to gather scandalous photos of our upcoming opponents and post them on aminaked.com. He will coordinate his efforts with TSUWhiner for this part of his job.
Sarahbelle will be in total charge of all alumni events. Her main responsibility will be setting up the tailgating tent at least 3 days before any sporting event. Her secondary responsibility will be setting up the pre-tailgating tent at least 2 days before the tailgating tent is set up. There must be a tailgating tent set up at least 6 days of each week for all sporting events.
Everyone else on the message board will be assigned to various jobs around campus, much like the Oompa Loompas from Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. They will also be required to dress like Oompa Loompas.
Heck, I think I will also dress like an Oompa Loompa.
Also, I would like to nominate myself as offensive co-coordinator. I do not have any coaching experience, but I have played Play Station a few times and will promise to draw on my knowledge of Nintendo Tecmo Bowl plays. We revert to the chuck and duck offense and run reverses, options, screens, flea-flickers and basically any and every play in the book. We will never run the same play twice. I also promise to never revert back to our C.R.A.P. (Crouch Retreat And Punt) offense.
Troymarkus will be my new offensive line and special teams coach. We will have two complete sets of offensive linemen. The first set will be composed of all midgets, all under 4 and 1/2 foot and all able to run a 4.5 40yard dash or lower. They will be experts at chop blocking and getting out front to block. We will rotate them in every other play with our second offensive unit. These will be comprised of Sumo Wrestlers, Coach Wayne Bolt's illegitimate children, and the "before" picture of Jared from Subway. All of these linemen (and or women) will weigh at least 500 pounds. They will not be able to move, but no one will move them either.
TSUWhiner will be our new band director and administrator-in-charge of verbal assault. In addition to leading the band (which will now only play old school rap and Guns and Roses) he will lead derogatory cheers against opposing teams. He will also be in charge of battery throwing, mascot kidnapping, and general mischief at all sporting events.
******* will be our new SID. In addition to the regular duties of Sports Information Director, he and his army of photographers will attempt to gather scandalous photos of our upcoming opponents and post them on aminaked.com. He will coordinate his efforts with TSUWhiner for this part of his job.
Sarahbelle will be in total charge of all alumni events. Her main responsibility will be setting up the tailgating tent at least 3 days before any sporting event. Her secondary responsibility will be setting up the pre-tailgating tent at least 2 days before the tailgating tent is set up. There must be a tailgating tent set up at least 6 days of each week for all sporting events.
Everyone else on the message board will be assigned to various jobs around campus, much like the Oompa Loompas from Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. They will also be required to dress like Oompa Loompas.
Heck, I think I will also dress like an Oompa Loompa.