View Full Version : Littlebitty's Calvacade of Whimsey

09-06-2005, 09:16 PM
In the style of CFN, a few thoughts on Trojan football, the rest of the college football world, and life in general.

If this column sucks, it's not my fault: I thought my sign in alone would automatically generate a good post.

The highly anticipated week one of the college football season has came and gone. For some teams, the opening game brought several answers, but for most, just more questions. Our beloved Troy Trojans struggled with a 1AA team this weekend, but we were not alone. Oklahoma State, Iowa State and Nebraska all had trouble and Marshall had to come from behind to beat William and Mary. Call it lack of focus, first game jitters, looking ahead, or whatever, but I doubt any team really shows all they have in the opening week. Especially if it's against a 1AA school.

I have the Direct TV Sports pack and a splint on my right wrist. These two things along with some snack mix and moon-pies in the microwave helped me gain a lot of college football knowledge and a few unwanted pounds (as opposed to wanted ones I guess?) I saw so many teams for the first time, that I wondered if they were even real. I swore I saw the Texas State Armadillos playing against a Canadian Rugby team (maybe that's when the pain-killers had set in). Trojan fans, be very proud our colors are what they are. Even if some consider them bland or unoriginal. I saw mascots and color-schemes that were so weird that Keith Richards would sober up if he saw them. (For you younger ones, Keith Richards is... oh never mind).

After watching hours upon hours of ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, ESPN Classic, ESPN News, ESPN at Nite, ESPN Superstation, ESPN Central, ESPN Discovery, ESPN Planet, and ESPN en espanol, I have come to the following conclusion: The four chicks in pink on the fantasy football commercials are just... just.. WOW! I have no idea what I dreamed about before I saw those commercials, but I know now I will never dream about anything else. Every red-blooded man in America (except for dfarr) has to love those commercials. Even my 14 month old stares at the TV when those are on. "Uhhh... SANDY!"

On a related note, all sideline reporters are worthless and the only way they should be able to continue is if they do their jobs topless. And yes, that includes Jack Arute.

Last year, college football teams that were double digit under-dogs at home covered the spread nearly 80% of the time. They acutally won the game about 25% of the time. Troy was 8-3 against the spread last year. Any guesses on the 3 games we didn't cover on? That's right, Arky State, New Mexico State, and ULL. We were double digit favorites all three. We lost the first two outright and only won the 3rd by three. Another amazing fact: Troy was 1-4 against teams that wear red and black (Beat ULL, lost to ASU, NMSU, NIU, and South Carolina).

Time for my overrated/underrated thingies

Overrated: Camera shots of Watson Brown
Underrated: Camera shots of Wayne Bolt

Overrated: Diet Coke
Underrated: Diet Dr. Pepper

Overrated: The price of unleaded gas.
Underrated: The price of diesel.

Overrated: dfarr
Underrated: Sarahbelle

Overrated: Darvocet
Underrated: Moon-pies in the microwave with ice cream on top.

And finally: Some of you guys were amazing on the Yahoo pick 'em. I need to take you with my to talk to my "investor" uncle.

09-06-2005, 09:47 PM
ROTFLMAO :lol: :lol:

09-06-2005, 09:50 PM
I couldnt agree with you more..I have the DirectTV package..and I love it!!! There is football on all the time!!! I never watch news or those other channels any more! In fact those bozos at direcTV will not give me a deal where I can get just sports channels!!! dammit! Thanks to a wonder life :) GO TROY!

09-06-2005, 10:22 PM
Excellent littlebitty! Should I mention that you are directly responsible for at least 20 of my extra pounds? Yeah, you got me hooked on those microwaved moonpies with ice cream months ago.

Speaking of bad announcers, how many people watched the Memphis/Ole Miss game? Bob Davie is the worst I've ever listened to. He kept blaming Memphis problems on the QB that came in in the 1st quarter after the starter broke his leg. I thought that guy was simply amazing! This kid had no idea he would be the new starter, more or less play this year. Memphis O line just about got him killed, but he has an amazing arm and he was smart! I could have sworn I was watching a senior Heisman candidate. The other announcer had to constantly keep correcting Davie and telling him the QB was not the problem. It's no wonder Notre Dame stunk during the Davie erra. He kept trying to call the plays, and not once did he even come close to being right.

09-07-2005, 08:46 AM
thats one of the funniest damn things Ive read in a long time.

09-07-2005, 08:50 AM
Diet Dr Pepper is definitely underrated.

Jack Arute needs a new hairstylist...pronto!

Good post, lbs...you never fail to crack me up.

09-07-2005, 09:12 AM
I agree that Diet Dr. Pepper is vastly underrated (as is the new Cherry, Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper.

Littlebitty - I like the topless idea; especially for Erin Andrews.

09-07-2005, 09:47 AM
I agree that Diet Dr. Pepper is vastly underrated (as is the new Cherry, Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper.

Littlebitty - I like the topless idea; especially for Erin Andrews.
I have to disagree about Jack Arute.
How about Jill Arrington? Thats the CBS chick right?
Now shes a hottie. So is that broad that did the Troy/MIZZU gamelast year.

Also, Texas State would be our former Southland mate Southwest Texas State. They changed their name a couple of years ago.

09-08-2005, 07:55 AM
LBS youre funny dude!!! :lol: